My definition of Minimalism

Minimalism means something different to everyone.  I have read blogs of people living out of a suitcase or backpack, people living with 100 items or less and people like myself who just want to simplify.  The spectrum for minimalism his huge!  I believe everyone can have their own definition.  

For me minimalism means giving up frivolous items or excess items and not being a mass consumer.  As a family, living out of a suitcase is out of the question. Having less then 100 belongings would never work for us.  I strive for simplicity.  

I was the type of person to hold onto things "in case".  I'll keep this stroller in case my other one breaks. I'll keep all 6 pairs of scissors in case I can't find a pair.  I'll buy the large pack of light bulbs so I'll have extra in case I need them. When what actually ends up happening, in our house, is that nothing gets put away because there isn't room and then ended up getting lost. 

The in case items slowly took over my garage, and every spare space we had in our home.  I had a plastic, shoe size storage box full of ink pens, pencils, and markers as well as a catch all drawer over flowing with the same. I finally went through it all and ditched the majority. 10 ink pens are plenty in our house, and this smaller amount has caused me to be sure I put them back when I am done.  10 might be excessive to some people but for us, the number works. 

Don't feel that you have to meet a specific number of items to be considered minimalism. Others might disagree with this statement, but I believe you can make your own simplicity with whatever number of belongings makes you comfortable.  For me it's 10 ink pens.  

Letting go of items that hold an emotional attachement

When I was pregnant with my oldest my grandmother died.  It was a hard time for our family as she a very strong woman who held our family together. Upon her passing I inherited a lot of her household items because we were just starting out.   My grandmother was a baker and sold the bread, cookies, pies and  rolls she made to everyone. So she had a huge collection of pie plates, loaf pans and everything that goes with baking.  I took it all, everything and I don't bake enough to justify having all of the wares for a small bakery.  Slowly, over the last 10 years I have started giving things away or selling them.   I have now four pie plates, a set of stainless steel mixing bowls, cook books, and other utensils.

Today I put one of the pie plates into a bag for donations.  Yes it pulled at  my heart a little but I have to remember that these things aren't my grandmother.  Do I need a pie plate to remember her? No.  Am I every going to use four pie plates at the same time? Probably not.  So why keep something that I am most likely never going to use.   If my grandmother were here she would say "Why are you keeping all this junk?"  So why am I?

I think we are often afraid that by giving away or getting rid of things that a loved one gave to us we will be offending them or giving up a piece of them we are still holding on to.  I always remind myself of my ultimate goal to live simply and holding onto things doesn't help me meet that goal.  I will always have my memories of my grandma dancing in her dinning room with me, I don't need a pie plate to remember that. 

If you are starting to downsize you don't have to get rid of those items with emotional attachments right away.  It has taken me a lot of time to give up some things but I eventually do. Minimalism isn't about making yourself uncomfortable, for me it is about simplifying how I live.

-H

We are weapons of mass consumption

There was a time in my life before my other two children were born, where I bought anything and everything.  I spent a lot of time and money buying clothes not only for myself but my husband and son. We rented in a cookie cutter neighborhood at that time and were barely making ends meet but my concern was appearing like everyone else in the neighborhood.  I spent a large chunk of money landscaping a rental, A RENTAL just to keep up with the Jones. 

I look back at that time period and realize now that I was lonely.  My husband was working a crazy schedule trying to let me afford the crazy lifestyle I was trying to project.  I was spending everyday shopping trying to fill my loneliness with things.   The things I bought gave me an instant satisfaction but the thrill was gone by the time the bags reached the house.  It was a vicious cycle.  I was lonely so I went shopping, my husband worked extra hours to pay for all the extra stuff I was buying, which meant I was alone more.  

I think a lot of people use shopping as a 'filler' for other issues. I live near a Target and drive by it often.  I have never driven by Target when the parking lot isn't full.  We are like ants running to a picnic.  We feel the need to prove ourselves equal in every aspect of our lives.  We are always purchasing new clothes, the newest electronics, home decor to 'keep up with the Jones'.      Television is always shoving the newest things down our throats and we are conditioned to 'need' these things.  

I've broken the cycle for myself.  Don't get me wrong I am still tempted. 

However, I now find immense pleasure in having a clean organized house. I find myself enjoying empty space.  After living for years being unable to find things it I love when I know right where something is.  Living minimalist in a consumer driven world is always a battle.  I shop Target and often find some cute thing I think I can't live with out but I now I ask myself three questions. 

• Do I need this?
• When/how will I use this?
• Do I love this enough to give up something I already have? 

More often than not I find myself putting the item back and leaving the store with just the things that were on my list. I come home feeling good because I saved myself some money, I don't have to unload a lot of bags and try to find a home for things I bought.  

In short:
We've all heard that money doesn't equal happiness which I agree with.  I also learned that happiness can not come from things because I lived it.  

Finding my ideal minimalism

Finding my ideal minimalism

Last summer I purchased a dresser off of craigslist and I initially loved it. It was from the 1970's and the drawers had scroll work on them. It would be perfect! I had been living without a dresser for my whole marriage and suddenly felt that I deserved a dresser.  I cleaned up the dresser,painted it, moved it into my room, and put my clothes away.

 Two weeks later I hated it.  It became a catch all for us. I constantly found myself cleaning it off. I finally had enough. I emptied all of the drawers and posted it on craigslist and it sold within 10 minutes of being posted! (I even made some money on it!) My clothes were then strewed about my bedroom, which made me take a good look at them. It was crazy how many clothes I owned and never wore! This was the point at which I started giving a mass amount of stuff away.  After going through each item of clothing, I collected six paper overflowing grocery bags to give away. I haven't missed a single item I gave away yet. 
We have a small dresser that was used mostly as a decoration that has now become my dresser. It is 2 feet tall, 2 feet wide and 1 foot deep with four drawers. I'm still working on downsizing what it holds. However, for me right now I am at a happy spot.  

My new dresser

 My closet is still a work in progress. I have the rule that if I haven't worn (blank item of clothing) in the past 6 months its being donated.  Seriously no one needs 15 t-shirts (I'm looking at you Lunchbox!)
I have come to the realization that things do not create happiness! 

Children and Minimalism

I thought there would be a fight.  I was prepared for the worst. I entered my son's room with a paper bag and he knows what that means. I even had a speech prepared to explain why I wanted him to give away some of his toys.  Alas, to my surprise, there was no fight, no argument.  So away we went going through his mounds of toys. He didn't even hesitate to throw things into the donate bag. We dwindled his three bins of toys down to one. Granted he is a pre-teen who doesn't spend much time playing except for a few choice toys, but I was amazed! 

One child down, two more to go. 

I again prepped myself for the worst. My youngest two share a room and the toys abound! So again I took them into their room with a bag and they were ready to go. THREE BAGS full of toys in less than an hour.  Choices were made so quickly and no fighting.  I really was feeling blessed.  Granted they still have more toys then I think is necessary it was our first step in the right direction. Now all of their toys fit into their toy box and two bins!

My oldest has commented on how much easier it is for him to clean up his room because there is less that gets pulled out when he is looking for something specific. SCORE! And no one has complained about missing something that I have given away. Two points for mom! 

The biggest 1up for our karma was that I posted the toys on my local freecycle yahoo group. A woman was the first to ask for the toys.  When she came to pick them up she was teared up and so grateful. She explained that she recently had left her abusive husband and had to leave everything behind.  Her son had not had many toys for the past two weeks and would be so happy to finally have something to play with. It made me feel good that no only were the toys not going to the landfill but were going to a child who needed them. 

Now if I can only get them to stop wanting to consume in mass quantities things will be great. Want versus Need!  

Who I am and how I started.

I am a stay at  home mom of three boys ages 9, 6, and 4.  My husband and I have been together 13 great years. My husband is a collector of many things, baseball cards and comic books to name a few.  I myself, have not always been heading towards minimalism.  My husband and I married young and we didn't have much so everything that we had we kept.  We had boxes and boxes full of useless things.  So much we had to store boxes at both of our parents houses because we didn't have room for the stuff in our apartment.  Shortly before the birth of our third child we purchased our first home. We were full to the gills with things. I wouldn't list us as hoarders but every closet and storage space was full of things we "might" need.  

One year after we purchased our house the economy bottomed out.  My husband was laid off from his job permanently.  After numerous different jobs that never panned out we moved eight hours away from our home in Michigan to Wisconsin.  My husband currently has a very good job  and we have been here for 3 years.  

When we moved from Michigan leaving our home we had to use one of the biggest self moving trucks and  it was filled to the top. Closing the back door was a chore in its self and the embarrassing part was that we still had boxes stored at our parents.  I moved to Wisconsin sight unseen.  My husband found an apartment for us and I never once thought 'how are we going to fit all of this stuff in a two bedroom apartment'.  That changed the moment we unloaded everything into our new home.  Boxes were stacked to the ceiling with no place to sit. I muscled through it all and found places for the majority of stuff but our one stall garage was stacked with boxes.  Luckily our apartment had plenty of closets.  

We lived in the apartment for 1 year.  Slowly I started getting rid of things, clothes the boys outgrew, an old suitcase that we never used, etc.  I became a member of Freecycle and slowly started giving things away to people through the group.   We moved into a 3 bedroom duplex and moved everything with us.  After moving in and seeing that we still had closets stuff to the top, boxes in the garage and things with no home it occurred to me, "why am I keeping this all?"  I couldn't come up with an answer. 

I started with one closet, emptying everything into my living room floor.  It was the worst closet in our whole house. It held:

•  drawing easel and paper
•  chalk
•  gift wrapping supplies
• reusable shopping bags (40!)
•  file box
• broom and dust pan 
• 5 large candles 
• play dough 
• board games
• the extra leaf for our table
• misc. holiday decorations
• and a two unpacked boxes

I started unpacking the boxes and everything into the give away pile.  The boxes hadn't been unpacked since we moved from Michigan, we obviously didn't miss anything in them.  The drawing easel and paper, the majority of reusable shopping bags, all of the holiday decorations and some of the gift wrapping supplies were listed on freecycle.  What wasn't taken was dropped off at Goodwill.  The chalk, board games, and play dough were moved to the closet designated for the boys art supplies. 

The closet now holds a file box, leaf for our table, broom and dust pan, a few gift wrapping supplies and reusable bags.  The door closes without anything falling out.   The feeling of giving away things to other people was amazing but nothing topped the feeling of having a clean closet.  I can see everything that is in the closet and I know where everything is!  This started my addiction of getting rid of things before I even knew what a minimalistic lifestyle was.