Why I Gave Up Caffeine

I loved soda.  I drank at least one at each meal, which ended up being at least 3 a day.  I ordered specific sodas with specific meals.  Chinese food required a cola, sub sandwiches required a mt. dew.  It was bad.  Every food at a restaurant was connected to a certain drink.  

I had tried giving soda up a few times previously and failed miserably.  I would have severe caffeine withdrawals.  Headaches that felt more like migraines, I was always so tired but suffered from insomnia , and I would feel achy.  I never struggled through the withdrawal symptoms I would always give up and start drinking soda again. 

I was a hypocrite.  I refuse to let my children drink soda, except for Root beer when we visit A&W, and here I was drinking a 24 pack in a week.  

So how did I do it?  Well truthfully, I got sick.  I had some type of throat illness.  Everything I swallowed hurt enough to bring me to tears.  Soda was the absolute worse, but I kept trying it. On the second day of my illness I forced myself to drink a whole can of soda to try and combat the withdrawal symptoms.  My throat burned so badly, it felt like I was drinking battery acid.  It was at that point I decided no soda was worth the pain I was enduring. I have always known that soda is bad for me and it was time to give it up.  

I fought with the withdrawal symptoms even after my throat symptoms went away.  Each day got a little easier, the thing that made it the worst for me was being so tired each day but also having insomnia. My boys were so supportive and helpful while I was going through withdrawal.  My middle guy would tell me at each meal "Good job mom! Your drinking juice!"  The fact that he noticed made the struggle worth it. 

After recovering, the first two weeks I missed soda so badly.  I kept two left over cans in the back of my fridge, just in case I told myself, but I really didn't want to let myself give up this time.  I took it day by day, meal by meal.  I worked up my courage and gave the two cans of soda to my husband to drink at dinner one night.  Since giving up soda I have turned to mostly juices, water and lemonades.  

I was concerned about the first time we went out to dinner.  I am a creature of habit and I was worried I would let myself fail.  I kept strong and ordered a water and didn't regret not having a soda.  Actually the food tasted better when it wasn't masked by the sweet syrupy drink. 

My husband drinks lots of caffeine, at least a two liter a day.  When I was first battling my withdrawal I didn't keep any soda in the house except for my two emergency cans.  He was a good sport and drank juice and water with me, but as soon as he was out of the house he was drinking any form of caffeine he could get he his hands on.  I am to the point now where we have soda in the house and it doesn't tempt me at all.  

I have always bought 100% juice for my kids, but now make sure that I can read and know what each ingredient on the label is.  I personally feel that more and more additives and chemical preservatives are being put into our food with our our knowledge.  It was recently brought to my attention the brominated vegetable  oil is used in numerous citrus drinks, is also used as a fire retardant.  Yes the FDA says it is okay to use in about 8 parts per million but I personally do not want any of this in my body.  

Caffeine is a drug, granted it is not a narcotic, but it does still have addictive qualities.  Anyone who has gone through withdrawal can tell you difficult it is. I feel wonderful now giving up soda!  If I did it believe me you can do it to! 

The Nonminimal Husband

Oh my dear husband, Lunchbox.  He is so far from a minimalist I would classify him as a minor hoarder.  He is getting better, however, it might not be by choice.  A little background about Lunchbox and I.  We met in high school and we were high school sweethearts an have been married 9 years this summer.   

Lunchbox is a collector.  He loves sports cards, comic books, hats, t-shirts, books and so much more. In high school and college I would often go with him to sports card shows.  Not exactly my cup of tea, but I would go to spend time with him.  Not to mention we were always the youngest people set up at the show. He had cases and boxes full of sports cards that he would display proudly. Typically he would end up buying more cards then he sold and I didn't mind because they weren't coming home with me, I didn't have to store them. 

Shortly before we were married we purchased our first place, three bedrooms and a smaller office/craft space that was divided.  We had to remodel the craft/office space and we each got one half of the space.  Lunchbox used his space to house his collections, mine ended up holding all of our remodeling materials   His was a small room just big enough for a desk, chair, and his collection.  After a few weeks the room was a mess.  Cards covered every open space.  I just ignored it.  

Life got busy.  We both were working full time and parenting our oldest son.  Lunchbox's room just got messier and messier.  Cards would make their way out into the hallway and I would pick them up and throw them into the room.  Then life changed.  We were moving, closer to Lunchbox's new job.  All of the cards got packed up or thrown away.  They were stored at my father in-laws house for years.

We  moved a few more times, had two more kids, and the cards were still stored at my FIL's.  We finally settled down, or so we thought, and the cards were moved back to our house.  Lunchbox continued to buy more cards and would sometime sell a few online.  However, they were all confined to the back of our closet in a box. 

During this time my husband's Uncle, who shall remain nameless because I'm not sure if I have forgiven him, gave Lunchbox his whole comic book collection.  This collection included lots of comic book cards and boxes on top of boxes of comics.  This reignited the want to collect comics for Lunchbox and he started buying new comics. 

Our house was quickly being overrun with toys from the kids and Lunchies collections.  Two years after we thought we had settled, we moved to Wisconsin.  Most of the collection came with us, but whatever didn't fit in the moving truck was stored again at my FIL's house.  We thought the majority of the collection had come with us but it hadn't. 

Slowly, Lunchie started selling the collections.  After lots of discussion he realized that he doesn't have time to really appreciate his collections and we do not have space to store it.  We live in a house with a moisture problem and he knows putting them into our storage closet would damage them.  We came to the agreement that things that were really important to him would go to work with him where he could display it.  He ended up selling almost all of the cards, I believe he only has one box of cards that he wants to keep because they are valuable under our bed.  The comics were much harder for him and almost all of them went with him to work.  I  know he has given some to co-workers who are also collectors, some are framed and displayed, and the others sit in boxes behind his desk. 

When we went to visit my father in-law at Christmas we were greeted by the leftover collection we had left at his house.  

I feel bad about forcing him out of collecting things he enjoys but I personally do not understand having something just to have it.  I knew he was a collector before I married him but I don't think I understood the magnitude of his collecting.  This past year of my moving into minimalism we have had many conversations about the money and time that goes into collecting.  Lunchbox works a crazy amount of hours and any free time is spent with family, so his amount of time to enjoy his collection doesn't exist.  

Lunchbox still buys sports cards and comic books from time to time.  Over Memorial Day weekend we even went to Cherry Capital Comic Con where he got two really awesome books drawn just for him. 

 Here is his Spiderman by Ryan Stegman 

And His Batman by Ryan Browne

I believe Lunchbox is starting to understand my belief of quality not quantity. He has said to me many times "eh, sometimes I really want things, and sometimes I miss things, but I don't dwell on it. I don't have time for it".

We are working on finding our happy middle, we will find it one day, hopefully.

-TMW

Falling off the Wagon...head first

I have only been living a strict minimal life for around a year.  Anyone who really knows me can tell you that I have had minimal tendencies since I was a teenager.  I drove my friends crazy any time we went shopping because I would have something in my hands that I was going to buy but by the time we had made it to the cashier I had put it back.  I still do this and it makes my husband insane.  I have a hard time buying things for myself, my family on the other hand, not to much.  

There are still times when I loose sight of my goal to not be a mass consumer.   Lately I have been checking out Goodwill on a regular basis and leaving with a new pair of shoes.  Not sensible shoes but high heels, wedges, and peep toe shoes.  Some with the original store tags on them.  I try them on, walk up and down the isle, admire them in the mirror and then they become mine. They are always a huge deal, I think the most I have paid for a pair of shoes was $1.50 and they were almost new! I know I am weak.

I think this new found obsession with shoes has recently developed because I no longer have to wear sensible shoes to chase down my children.  They are all now old enough to listen for the most part.  When we go out I don't have to worry about a toddler scampering off after a toy and ending up in the road. This never happened to us and I give credit to my sensible shoe choices allowing me to keep up with the boys.  The shoes I bought at my last acquisition would not allow me to chase anyone!  

I think I have also convinced myself that it is okay because I am buying donated items and not from a chain store.  The shoes, once they are sold are not be reordered which means that the company isn't making more shoes to stock the shelves.  Plus they are cheap and not making a huge impact on my wallet.  I failed to see until recently that my shoe purchases are adding up, slowly, but they are.  

I have gone from having five pairs of shoes, including winter boots, to 12.  I know for many people 12 pairs of shoes isn't going to seem like a lot, but for me it is too many.  Yesterday I wore a pair of wedges to my son's Kindergarten graduation and they gave me a huge blister.  So they are going back to Goodwill. So I will be down to 11 pairs. 

Minimalism for me is a conscious choice to limit the amount of things that I own.  Typically I take the time before purchasing anything to ask myself 

• Do I need this?
• When/how will I use this?
• Do I love this enough to give up something I already have? 

Lately I haven't been taking the time to ask the questions.  I've been impulse buying.  Now I am jumping back on the wagon and avoiding Goodwill unless I am donating.  I have a Rubbermaid bin full of clothes that the youngest has outgrown that will be heading to Goodwill by the end of the week.  

This is my new mantra!

-TMW

   

Minimalism verus Birthdays and Holidays

We have a birthday coming up this week.  The baby of the family is turning 5. Holidays and birthdays can be the hardest time for anyone who is trying to live minimally.  A birthday party with a huge influx of gifts is enough to make any minimalist shutter.  So how do you handle it all?

I have read many blogs where people have no gift parties. Yup, no gifts from any of the party goers.  I can see this being a positive thing but I think it is something a child has to be born into.  All three of my children are use to getting gifts and I can't imagine they would be happy to not receive anything on their special day. 

Other minimalist deal with birthdays by having specific rules to what gifts can be given.  Such as book only parties, out door toys, art supplies or clothing.  This fills a specific need in the birthday child's toys.   I think this is an awesome way to go! 

Personally, I am still trying to make balance our birthday and holiday gifting.  
When buying birthday or Holiday gifts we use the mantra: One thing to wear, one thing to read, one thing they need, and one thing they want.  4 gifts and only 4 gifts.  We did this last year at Christmas and it was difficult.  I did find that only buying each child 4 gifts they enjoyed each gift more then the years where they each got too many to count. 

Since moving to Wisconsin we have not thrown a birthday party with guests besides our family.  I am a rather private person (aside from this blog) an do not enjoy the thought of having a lot of people I don't know very well in my home.  So we have not had a huge influx of gifts from party goers in a few years, which I like.  Not once has one of the boys, so far, asked to have a birthday party where they invite friends from school.  We will cross that bridge when we get to it.  

I do not limit the amount of gifts my family buy the boys for the holidays.  My family know how I feel about having so much stuff but with all of our family living hours away and not getting to see the boys very often I do not feel like it is my place to tell them not to send gifts or to limit the amount of gifts they do send.  Having said that, because our family does live so far away, many family members send cards with money. 

This year we will be getting rid of somethings to make room for the new things.  I purchased a new batman shirt for the youngest to replace a well worn a loved one that is way too small.  We will be going through the toy boxes and getting rid of any "junk" or broken toys to be replaced with a birthday toy.  

Birthdays are a time to be celebrated! You have made it another year, learned more than last year, seen new sights, and experienced new things.  For parents, a child's birthday means that you kept another human being alive successfully for another year while, hopefully, teaching them how to be a good human. 

 I have been to many birthday parties where the child opens one gift and throws it to the side, sometimes when it isn't even unwrapped all of the way, to see what is next.  I've experienced children crying when they didn't get the specific toy they wanted or the gifts have all been unwrapped.  I want my children to celebrate their birthdays with the understanding that they are important and are not measured by the amount of gifts they receive.  Before we implemented the 4 gift plan we discussed it with them, they now know what to expect at their birthday and we have never had any issue with a sad or upset child. 

Solid advice
-TMW

My Old Fashioned Reel Lawn Mower

I enjoy doing lawn work.  I have as long as I can remember.  I believe it is a learned behavior from spending a lot of time with my Grandma L who loves to garden.  Gardening with her is one of my fondest childhood memories.  My grandparents had a big yard sweeper, to sweep up all of the grass once it was cut.  I spent so much time pushing the sweeper around their yard, following behind my grandpa on the lawn mower. I always found it rewarding to work out in the sun. 

As a teenager I always offered to mow the lawn.  The issue for me was that I could never start our push mower.  I still as an adult have a difficult time starting our push mower.  I had always wanted a reel mower, the type people used before the invention of the fancy gas powered mowers. 

Last fall I found an old fashioned reel push mower for free on the side of the road.  I pulled up and checked it out when an older lady came out of the garage.  He told me that her kids bought it for her and she found it too difficult  to push up the steep hill at her house.  It had only been used one time and she just wanted it gone.  I offered to pay her but she refused.  So I loaded it as quickly as possible into my car.  I was more excited than a kid at Christmas. 

Unfortunately, it was fall and our grass never grew enough to allow me to mow.  This spring, as soon as all of the snow was gone, I had it out lowering it to my liking.  It works beautifully! I do not have to fight with the pull start or worry about running out of gas. I can talk to my kids while I use it and the best part in my opinion is that there are no emissions! 

Yes it does use more man power than a standard small engine push mower to maneuver it around the yard.  I consider it to be a good work out.  We still have our gas powered lawn mower to appease Lunchie.  He figures that one day he might have to mow and he would rather use the gas mower.  If it were up to me I would sell the gas mower or give it to someone who needs it.  

I love the simplicity of the reel lawn mower.  When thinking or living minimal it is definitely the way to go!   

Quality not Quantity

Over Memorial Day weekend we loaded up our van and headed to see our family who lives eight hours away.  While visiting we attended a Comic Con,  Lunchie is a collector of comic books.    

The convention hall was packed with table after table full of comics, toys, and collectibles.  I could see my husband's eyes light up like a kid at Christmas.  We walked slowly through each isle looking everything over completely.  At one booth there were thousands of comics.  People were surrounding the booth with arm fulls of books.  I could swear I saw Lunchie drool a little. 

Before we left for the comic convention we set a modest budget.  Once we got into the con it became apparent that our budget was really small compared to the prices.  We spent a few hours walking through the con with out buying anything before we left to get lunch.  

At lunch we discussed quality versus quantity.  After looking at prices, the quality option was that he could spend 75% of the budget and get an artist to draw a cover specifically for him and still have 25% to spend on other random items.  The other option was to spend the whole budget and leave with 50 or more comic books and other items.  

After much internal debate he decided to have a blank Superior Spider-man cover drawn for him by the current artist, Ryan Stegman.  He then had Ryan Browne draw a cover to another blank comic for him. This used 95% of his budget.  He then bought a few $0.50 comics to share with the boys as well as a few for himself.  

Watching the other people at the con walking around with their arms full of bags was hard for him.  I know he debated with his decision the whole weekend until we were leaving.  I think it was almost an "ah ha" moment.  He had two comic's that will never be recreated as well as the time he spent forming relationships with the two artists. 

Had he chose to buy the quantity option he knew the comic's would have ended up in a box not to be seen or read.  He is now looking to get two frames for the comics to hang in his office. 

I often wonder why we chose quantity over quality.  I believe that big box stores have lead us to believe that it is better to have more items than to have a few high quality items.  At a big box store you can buy a large number of bathroom towels for very little money compared to buying them at a department store.  However, the towels purchased at the box store are not the same quality and are not going to last as long as the department store towels.  I know this from experience.  

My grandmother was a stern believer of purchasing things from department stores.  When she passed away I inherited her bathroom towels.  These were added to my supply of box store towels.  Now 10 years later I still have and use some of the towels that were my grandmothers.  Granted they aren't beautiful and I hide them from guests, but they are still soft and free of holes.  My box store towels barely lasted me 3 years. 

With the cost of replacing towels every 3 to 4 years you could save your self money in the long run by buying the more expensive towels that will hold up longer. 

We've been trained to think more is always better, which isn't always the case.  I am always looking for a good deal, but when it comes to some things you just can't skimp on quality. 

Life without a Dryer

Oh a dryer!  Nice warm clothes and blankets!  As much as I do love those things we currently do not have a dryer.  I hang every item of clothing I wash on the line or on our drying rack.  I know you think I am crazy, right?  

When we moved to Wisconsin we sold our washer and dryer set with our house.  Our apartment came equipped with a full size washer and dryer in our unit. It was not a worry until we moved into our new place that didn't have a washer or dryer, just hook ups.  At the time we did not have the extra money to be buying a new set so I scoured local sites until I found each at a very cheap price, around $25 each.  The washer lasted us a little over a year and the dryer a year and a half.   

After the washer went out we bought a high efficiency washer from a friend who was getting a new set.  Her dryer had broken.  The washer is only a year old and runs like a champ.  Not to mention these new high efficiency washer get every last drop of water out during the spin cycle, I am impressed!  When the dryer died earlier this year I decided to hang all of our clothes to dry.  I was lucky enough to be given a folding drying rack, I have enough space in my laundry room to hang a line, and I also have a line outside.  

I know you are thinking why not fork over the money and buy a new dryer?  

Sometimes the idea of having a dryer seems nice, it would be convenient and much quicker.  However having said that, my grandmother always hung the laundry out to dry.  In many European countries people do not own dryers but hang everything year round.  I do not see owning a dryer as a necessity right now when I can dry my clothes for free in the sun.  When winter arrives I might be signing a different tune. 

Line drying takes time but has it's benefits.  We don't heat up our house during those warm summer months drying clothes.  I fold and put away each clothing item as it dries, I do not have clothes baskets full of clothes waiting to be folded or put away.  Our clothes seem to be lasting longer. Most of all we are saving electricity. 

Line drying isn't for everyone, though at one point and time it was the only choice.  I now stay on top of my laundry piles.  I typically do laundry every other day or twice a week for our family of five.  I always make sure that my boys sports jerseys are ready for their next game, not once has anyone wore a wet or damp shirt to a ball game. I don't have the option to forget or wait until the last minute which has eased a lot of the stress of getting three kids dress and out the door with matching socks, jerseys and pants on game day. 

Line drying or using a dryer, dirty clothes are one thing that we can all count on having to deal with!  

The Never Ending Paper Trail

One of the things I seem to struggle the most with is paperwork.  It seems like it is never ending! There was a time in my marriage where I kept everything.  Year's worth of electric bills, my fear would always be that the company would say we missed a payment at some point. (Never-ever happened) I have finally concurred my fear of needing to prove I paid something, and have managed to finally manage our paper trail.

The sources of our paper work for us are school, work, sports and mail.  I have one specific corner in our kitchen that seems to be the catch-all for all of these papers.  It seems like whenever the corner gets completely emptied more papers come into the pile. 

I feel like I am never ahead in the paper fight, but I have developed a few different strategies to combat the clutter.  I have made each boy a specific spot to display their school work. It works really well and displays each child's newest accomplishment.  (Like photo below)



I have a peg board for all of the important notes from school and the larger art projects that won't fit into the gallon zip lock bag.  I also post all of our sporting schedules and sporting paperwork here. 

I try to sort our mail everyday, try being the key word there.  We do not get much mail and there are times where we do not get any mail at all. (Those days are my favorite!)  We receive all most all of our bills electronically now. It was originally a huge adjustment for me to no longer have a paper bill in my hand.  For a while I was writing due dates on the calendar so I wouldn't forget.  However paying the majority of our bills online has had some big benefits.  It has cut down drastically on the number of checks we right and how often we need to buy checks and stamps.  I don't have to worry about filing the bill after its paid and throwing away all of those inserts. Not to mention the benefit of  not having the company use paper to print our bill and then mail them.  I now hate having to pay a bill the "old fashioned" way.  

I have a smaller file box where I keep all of our important documents as well as any owners manuals, etc.  This is one of my downfalls because I hate filing! I usually stack the papers up on top of the file box until I have enough to file away.  I'm going to need to find a better system sometime. ;)

It took me a long time to figure out what paper need to be saved and what could be pitched. I now try to make the decisions as soon as the papers are in my hand.  Otherwise I tend to keep everything and nothing gets pitched.  Developing a system that works for you is essential in managing the influx of papers, and then sticking to it!  

Good Luck concurring your own paper trail!
-TMW.

(Thanks for the use of the photo Classroom DIY. http://www.classroomdiy.com/p/welcome.html )

Confessions of a Ex Extreme Couponer

Before I was focused on minimalism I use to dedicate a lot of time to finding coupons, matching them with sales add's, scouring the internet and blog sites for deals.  I followed at least 5 different local blogs that posted deals where using coupons you could purchase items for little or no money.  Sometimes large quantities of items.  I would find myself buying items that my family would never use because I could get them cheap.  I still have a few citronella candles that I purchased last spring for $0.02 each.   The thrill of getting an item cheap or free was awesome! 

Eventually our freezer, refrigerator, and cupboards were stuffed with food and couponing items.  I talked my husband into buying a smaller used deep freezer and it eventually got packed to the top.  We weren't even eating everything I was buying and I was having to throw away lots of food because of it spoiling. The small freezer ran a lot, which wasn't a big deal until we got our electric bill.  It had almost doubled! But I thought it was okay because we were buying lots of food for around $30 a week if that.

Then we had a power outage, for almost two days.  We were trying to eat everything in our fridge and freezers before it thawed or spoiled.   We weren't successful.  I had 10 cans of frozen juice concentrate that melted and spoiled before it could be used,  lots of meat that had to be thrown out and other frozen foods.  While emptying the freezer I had an Oprah Ah Ha moment.  Having so much food didn't make any since if we weren't going to use it and I was just going to waste it all. 

I started looking at how much money I was spending trying to find deals.  Every Sunday I was purchasing at least one if not two newspapers.  I was printing around 10 coupons every week, and I was running to stores all the time trying to find these deals.  75% of the time by the time I would make it to the store with the sale the items would already be sold out.   I was wasting a lot of time and money hunting down things we didn't need.  

I believe shows about extreme couponing have opened many stores eyes.  Many stores are now changing their coupon policies making it much more difficult to buy large quantities of things and items at a large discount or for free.  

So I sold the freezer, stopped following all of the blogs, no longer purchase the newspapers for the sole purpose of coupons,  and no longer print mass amounts of coupons.   I have found that by giving up extreme couponing I have so much more time and we are able to save money just by budgeting. 

We are currently member's of a club warehouse store.  Yup, I know it doesn't seem like buying in bulk would be very minimalist thing to do.  However, I menu plan two weeks to a month in advance.  I also try to purchase at least two weeks worth of food at one time, sometimes a month worth.  We originally joined the warehouse store because I got a really good deal on a membership through a groupon.  I have found that some meats such as chicken breast are more than $1.00 cheaper than purchasing it from my grocery store.  When I purchase the big pack of chicken  breasts I divide them up individually and freeze them.  I also divide up burger into smaller servings  before freezing. 

Many things I buy will last us a whole month. Such as snack foods for the boys and condiments. I buy paper towels, toilet paper and some cleaning products that last us at least two months.  By meal planning for a whole month I am able to buy bulk things at the warehouse club that will provide us with more than one meal.  At the end of the month or two weeks I am always pleased to see that our cupboards, fridge and freezer are almost empty.   This means I have successfully menu planned and we are not wasting a lot, if any food.  

Menu planning has made my life much simpler and has helped us minimize the amount of food waste we have.   Buying in bulk and being members of a warehouse store isn't for everyone but it works for our family of five. 

-TMW.

My definition of Minimalism

Minimalism means something different to everyone.  I have read blogs of people living out of a suitcase or backpack, people living with 100 items or less and people like myself who just want to simplify.  The spectrum for minimalism his huge!  I believe everyone can have their own definition.  

For me minimalism means giving up frivolous items or excess items and not being a mass consumer.  As a family, living out of a suitcase is out of the question. Having less then 100 belongings would never work for us.  I strive for simplicity.  

I was the type of person to hold onto things "in case".  I'll keep this stroller in case my other one breaks. I'll keep all 6 pairs of scissors in case I can't find a pair.  I'll buy the large pack of light bulbs so I'll have extra in case I need them. When what actually ends up happening, in our house, is that nothing gets put away because there isn't room and then ended up getting lost. 

The in case items slowly took over my garage, and every spare space we had in our home.  I had a plastic, shoe size storage box full of ink pens, pencils, and markers as well as a catch all drawer over flowing with the same. I finally went through it all and ditched the majority. 10 ink pens are plenty in our house, and this smaller amount has caused me to be sure I put them back when I am done.  10 might be excessive to some people but for us, the number works. 

Don't feel that you have to meet a specific number of items to be considered minimalism. Others might disagree with this statement, but I believe you can make your own simplicity with whatever number of belongings makes you comfortable.  For me it's 10 ink pens.  

Letting go of items that hold an emotional attachement

When I was pregnant with my oldest my grandmother died.  It was a hard time for our family as she a very strong woman who held our family together. Upon her passing I inherited a lot of her household items because we were just starting out.   My grandmother was a baker and sold the bread, cookies, pies and  rolls she made to everyone. So she had a huge collection of pie plates, loaf pans and everything that goes with baking.  I took it all, everything and I don't bake enough to justify having all of the wares for a small bakery.  Slowly, over the last 10 years I have started giving things away or selling them.   I have now four pie plates, a set of stainless steel mixing bowls, cook books, and other utensils.

Today I put one of the pie plates into a bag for donations.  Yes it pulled at  my heart a little but I have to remember that these things aren't my grandmother.  Do I need a pie plate to remember her? No.  Am I every going to use four pie plates at the same time? Probably not.  So why keep something that I am most likely never going to use.   If my grandmother were here she would say "Why are you keeping all this junk?"  So why am I?

I think we are often afraid that by giving away or getting rid of things that a loved one gave to us we will be offending them or giving up a piece of them we are still holding on to.  I always remind myself of my ultimate goal to live simply and holding onto things doesn't help me meet that goal.  I will always have my memories of my grandma dancing in her dinning room with me, I don't need a pie plate to remember that. 

If you are starting to downsize you don't have to get rid of those items with emotional attachments right away.  It has taken me a lot of time to give up some things but I eventually do. Minimalism isn't about making yourself uncomfortable, for me it is about simplifying how I live.

-H

We are weapons of mass consumption

There was a time in my life before my other two children were born, where I bought anything and everything.  I spent a lot of time and money buying clothes not only for myself but my husband and son. We rented in a cookie cutter neighborhood at that time and were barely making ends meet but my concern was appearing like everyone else in the neighborhood.  I spent a large chunk of money landscaping a rental, A RENTAL just to keep up with the Jones. 

I look back at that time period and realize now that I was lonely.  My husband was working a crazy schedule trying to let me afford the crazy lifestyle I was trying to project.  I was spending everyday shopping trying to fill my loneliness with things.   The things I bought gave me an instant satisfaction but the thrill was gone by the time the bags reached the house.  It was a vicious cycle.  I was lonely so I went shopping, my husband worked extra hours to pay for all the extra stuff I was buying, which meant I was alone more.  

I think a lot of people use shopping as a 'filler' for other issues. I live near a Target and drive by it often.  I have never driven by Target when the parking lot isn't full.  We are like ants running to a picnic.  We feel the need to prove ourselves equal in every aspect of our lives.  We are always purchasing new clothes, the newest electronics, home decor to 'keep up with the Jones'.      Television is always shoving the newest things down our throats and we are conditioned to 'need' these things.  

I've broken the cycle for myself.  Don't get me wrong I am still tempted. 

However, I now find immense pleasure in having a clean organized house. I find myself enjoying empty space.  After living for years being unable to find things it I love when I know right where something is.  Living minimalist in a consumer driven world is always a battle.  I shop Target and often find some cute thing I think I can't live with out but I now I ask myself three questions. 

• Do I need this?
• When/how will I use this?
• Do I love this enough to give up something I already have? 

More often than not I find myself putting the item back and leaving the store with just the things that were on my list. I come home feeling good because I saved myself some money, I don't have to unload a lot of bags and try to find a home for things I bought.  

In short:
We've all heard that money doesn't equal happiness which I agree with.  I also learned that happiness can not come from things because I lived it.  

Finding my ideal minimalism

Finding my ideal minimalism

Last summer I purchased a dresser off of craigslist and I initially loved it. It was from the 1970's and the drawers had scroll work on them. It would be perfect! I had been living without a dresser for my whole marriage and suddenly felt that I deserved a dresser.  I cleaned up the dresser,painted it, moved it into my room, and put my clothes away.

 Two weeks later I hated it.  It became a catch all for us. I constantly found myself cleaning it off. I finally had enough. I emptied all of the drawers and posted it on craigslist and it sold within 10 minutes of being posted! (I even made some money on it!) My clothes were then strewed about my bedroom, which made me take a good look at them. It was crazy how many clothes I owned and never wore! This was the point at which I started giving a mass amount of stuff away.  After going through each item of clothing, I collected six paper overflowing grocery bags to give away. I haven't missed a single item I gave away yet. 
We have a small dresser that was used mostly as a decoration that has now become my dresser. It is 2 feet tall, 2 feet wide and 1 foot deep with four drawers. I'm still working on downsizing what it holds. However, for me right now I am at a happy spot.  

My new dresser

 My closet is still a work in progress. I have the rule that if I haven't worn (blank item of clothing) in the past 6 months its being donated.  Seriously no one needs 15 t-shirts (I'm looking at you Lunchbox!)
I have come to the realization that things do not create happiness! 

Children and Minimalism

I thought there would be a fight.  I was prepared for the worst. I entered my son's room with a paper bag and he knows what that means. I even had a speech prepared to explain why I wanted him to give away some of his toys.  Alas, to my surprise, there was no fight, no argument.  So away we went going through his mounds of toys. He didn't even hesitate to throw things into the donate bag. We dwindled his three bins of toys down to one. Granted he is a pre-teen who doesn't spend much time playing except for a few choice toys, but I was amazed! 

One child down, two more to go. 

I again prepped myself for the worst. My youngest two share a room and the toys abound! So again I took them into their room with a bag and they were ready to go. THREE BAGS full of toys in less than an hour.  Choices were made so quickly and no fighting.  I really was feeling blessed.  Granted they still have more toys then I think is necessary it was our first step in the right direction. Now all of their toys fit into their toy box and two bins!

My oldest has commented on how much easier it is for him to clean up his room because there is less that gets pulled out when he is looking for something specific. SCORE! And no one has complained about missing something that I have given away. Two points for mom! 

The biggest 1up for our karma was that I posted the toys on my local freecycle yahoo group. A woman was the first to ask for the toys.  When she came to pick them up she was teared up and so grateful. She explained that she recently had left her abusive husband and had to leave everything behind.  Her son had not had many toys for the past two weeks and would be so happy to finally have something to play with. It made me feel good that no only were the toys not going to the landfill but were going to a child who needed them. 

Now if I can only get them to stop wanting to consume in mass quantities things will be great. Want versus Need!  

Who I am and how I started.

I am a stay at  home mom of three boys ages 9, 6, and 4.  My husband and I have been together 13 great years. My husband is a collector of many things, baseball cards and comic books to name a few.  I myself, have not always been heading towards minimalism.  My husband and I married young and we didn't have much so everything that we had we kept.  We had boxes and boxes full of useless things.  So much we had to store boxes at both of our parents houses because we didn't have room for the stuff in our apartment.  Shortly before the birth of our third child we purchased our first home. We were full to the gills with things. I wouldn't list us as hoarders but every closet and storage space was full of things we "might" need.  

One year after we purchased our house the economy bottomed out.  My husband was laid off from his job permanently.  After numerous different jobs that never panned out we moved eight hours away from our home in Michigan to Wisconsin.  My husband currently has a very good job  and we have been here for 3 years.  

When we moved from Michigan leaving our home we had to use one of the biggest self moving trucks and  it was filled to the top. Closing the back door was a chore in its self and the embarrassing part was that we still had boxes stored at our parents.  I moved to Wisconsin sight unseen.  My husband found an apartment for us and I never once thought 'how are we going to fit all of this stuff in a two bedroom apartment'.  That changed the moment we unloaded everything into our new home.  Boxes were stacked to the ceiling with no place to sit. I muscled through it all and found places for the majority of stuff but our one stall garage was stacked with boxes.  Luckily our apartment had plenty of closets.  

We lived in the apartment for 1 year.  Slowly I started getting rid of things, clothes the boys outgrew, an old suitcase that we never used, etc.  I became a member of Freecycle and slowly started giving things away to people through the group.   We moved into a 3 bedroom duplex and moved everything with us.  After moving in and seeing that we still had closets stuff to the top, boxes in the garage and things with no home it occurred to me, "why am I keeping this all?"  I couldn't come up with an answer. 

I started with one closet, emptying everything into my living room floor.  It was the worst closet in our whole house. It held:

•  drawing easel and paper
•  chalk
•  gift wrapping supplies
• reusable shopping bags (40!)
•  file box
• broom and dust pan 
• 5 large candles 
• play dough 
• board games
• the extra leaf for our table
• misc. holiday decorations
• and a two unpacked boxes

I started unpacking the boxes and everything into the give away pile.  The boxes hadn't been unpacked since we moved from Michigan, we obviously didn't miss anything in them.  The drawing easel and paper, the majority of reusable shopping bags, all of the holiday decorations and some of the gift wrapping supplies were listed on freecycle.  What wasn't taken was dropped off at Goodwill.  The chalk, board games, and play dough were moved to the closet designated for the boys art supplies. 

The closet now holds a file box, leaf for our table, broom and dust pan, a few gift wrapping supplies and reusable bags.  The door closes without anything falling out.   The feeling of giving away things to other people was amazing but nothing topped the feeling of having a clean closet.  I can see everything that is in the closet and I know where everything is!  This started my addiction of getting rid of things before I even knew what a minimalistic lifestyle was.